Picking Up The Pieces: How To Recover From The Woes Life Throws Us.

At some point, you have to pull yourself out of downward spirals. I'm a firm believer that only you can make your life better. That said, I could make excuses for why I stopped posting but the simple explanation is:

When things started going wrong, the first thing I neglected was my finances.

In the past month, I had some health problems. Followed by relationship problems. Followed by having finals. Followed by vacation. Instead of keeping myself on the right track financially, it was the last thing I was thinking about. Most people adopt the same tactic when problems arise in life. By not keeping control of my finances, I let something out spiral downward.

While I didn't run up five grand in credit card debt, I did stop saving (even spent a little of it), and gained a few hundred on the credit cards. Bad, bad, bad move on my part.

I've realized that I felt worse about myself by letting go of the economic component. Normally, managing my finances makes me feel in control of my life. It gives a sense of self-accomplishment. I'm re-prioritizing right now and I already feel better.

Relationships come and go. There will be times of good health and bad. But, I can't point those things out I'm my credit report.

Early Mid-life Crisis.

I've been freaking out a little for the past two days. I'm not sure if I'm picking the right career path. I've had a strong sense of what I wanted to do for years; suddenly, I'm questioning it all.

I've already finished city college (community, junior, etc.) and am at a university working on my B.A. I'm majoring in Latin American Studies with most likely a minor in Chicano Studies. I love my classes. I love everything I'm learning. I'm passionate about helping people. I plan on getting a Ph.D in Cultural Anthropology and living down in Central or South America. I want to work for either the UN, an embassy or a non-profit organization. I know what I'm getting myself into. The chances of me dieing before I hit thirty is a possibility. My involvement in war zones and poverty-stricken areas will be strong. None of this is a deterrment. My sister is. I can't imagine living far away from my sister. It already kills me to see her once a week. Because of this, I'm looking at the possibility of going for a Ph.D in Ethnic Relations. There are some local schools with excellent programs (USC and UCLA).

Then there comes the questioning. It comes in the form of another area I love: wine and good food. Everyone in my life thinks I should go into culinary arts or become a sommelier. Truth be told, I'm already involved with the wine industry. I've made friends with proprieters of wine businesses; I love the community. No one treats me as though I'm some idealistic kid; I get treated as an equal. My memory is excellent and taste buds are keen. I've gone on interviews for upscale fine-dining establishments. Supposedly, the managers were blown away with my wine knowledge. Unfortunately, they all say I'm too young (which is a complete paradox to the way I'm treated by actual wine merchants). I love exploring with pairing, reading up more information and tasting new things. I love the new experiences and people I come across.

The biggest difference between these two fields comes down to knowing how to get where I want. I've been focusing on Latin America for years and still don't know what I'll end up doing. People ask what I'm going to specifically do down in Latin America and I merely tell them that I'll go where I can. On the other hand, I know how to move up in the wine industry. It's all about networking and I already have my foot in the door.

I'm utterly torn.

I want to help people and I feel as though a part of my life won't be complete if I don't. Forever will I feel a burden on my conscience that I didn't use my intellect for the greater good of humanity.